I have decided to come out of the political closet and declare myself a political atheist.
Why don't you believe in politics? I get that question all the time. I always try to give a sensitive, reasoned answer. This is usually awkward, time-consuming, and pointless. People who believe in their political faith don't need proof; they follow the truth and certainly don't want evidence to the contrary. They are happy with their political faith. They say, "it's true to me," and "it's faith." I still give my logical answer because I feel that not being honest would be patronizing and impolite. I don't believe in either the liberal or conservative faith because there is absolutely no scientific evidence for the existence that particular political faith is "truth," and from what I've witnessed, the very definition of political truth is a logical impossibility in this known universe.
I know that I am running the risk of being arrogant. The past two years have taught me to follow the science. Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse, it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and what it doesn't know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence—constantly updated and upgraded evidence. It doesn't get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn't hold on to political practices because they are traditions.
If you have been thinking of coming out of the political closet, you might want to consider a few things.
You might prefer to keep your political beliefs—or lack thereof—to yourself. In a society that typically defaults to political party faith of some kind, it can feel daunting to "come out" as a non-believer. Political atheists are sometimes stereotyped as independent jerks who want to debate or discount other people's political beliefs. But my desire to become a political atheist had nothing to do with debating anyone and everything but with wanting to live my life honestly and according to different principles.
The nature of political atheism isn't about spreading my belief, and it isn't about adhering to some political atheist code. Instead, it's about transparency and truthfulness. Depending on where you live, and the beliefs of your loved ones, practical issues around the political belief system can arise. Will your grandchildren expect a particular faith leader to officiate their wedding? Are they hoping you to baptize them in the waters of political bias? Will they take the sacred sacrament of voting for a political faith? Do you feel like you're hiding something from your family and friends?
If you've decided you're ready to become a political atheist (and it's safe for you to do so), you may be unsure of the best way to express yourself. Is there a right way to minimize conflict with the political believers in your life?
Here are some tips and reminders to make coming out as a political atheist as seamless as possible.
First, define what "coming out" means to you. We must be able to define what "is" really means. Only you know how in-depth and detailed your coming out needs to be. Here are some practical questions to help you nail down what political atheism means to you:
Do you need to convince your family that you're happy without a political party?
Will someone you care about likely react negatively?
How will this impact your family decisions down the line, like with marriage, kids, or a lack thereof?
What will this mean for family and community traditions?
How will this impact your day-to-day life?
You are coming out frames your decision around the difference between secrecy and privacy. If you feel like your political atheism involves deception, then your coming out should safely address whatever makes you feel like you're hiding who you are.
Focus on yourself
Coming out as a political atheist should be about expressing your beliefs; it's not the time to go about changing someone else's. Keep in mind the questions above about defining your political atheism as practically as possible. Again, this will be an ongoing process with an opportunity for more conversations that dive into what you and the people around you believe. For now, focus on "I" statements to keep the conversation as grounded as possible. I have learned this by listening to political leaders as they speak about themselves. They often use "I" many times in their speeches.
In general, sooner is better.
The sooner you come out, the more likely you'll be able to pick the time and place and avoid potentially uncomfortable (or even unsafe) spur-of-the-moment coming out. Try to avoid the less-than-ideal situations that may arise if you push off coming out indefinitely:
The sooner you come out, the less likely it is that someone else will put you (accidentally or intentionally); that someone in your life will force the issue (pressing the question and not accepting a vague answer–it happens more than you might think); or that a crisis will make it necessary for you to come out right away, even though the timing is lousy (such as a health crisis or a death in the family, where political beliefs and the lack thereof suddenly become very relevant).
Plus, if necessary, you'll give the people in your life more time to get comfortable with the idea.
Plan things out
Once you figure out when and where you want to come out, take time to map out what you'll say. Like any difficult conversation, it's helpful to rehearse a script physically. Say your lines in the mirror, or write talking points on your phone notes. Quote famous political leaders. There is not a dime's worth of difference between liberal or conservative faith. Also, be prepared to go off-script—despite your best efforts, you can't plan other people's dialogue in real life.
It's also a good idea to be thoughtful about when and where you have this conversation, especially with family. "Choose a place where they can have their feelings with some privacy, and a time when you'll have some time to hash things out if you need to, as tempting as it might be to have the conversation in a restaurant where they can't throw a fit, that's not really fair."
Pay attention to the relationship first.
Take this conversation one step at a time. If you're trying to preserve your relationships as best possible, then the moment you come out isn't the time to interrogate and attack someone's political faith. Instead, center the conversation on what (if anything) will change about the relationship at hand.
Remind your loved ones that who you are isn't changing. You're asking to have this part of you respected, just as you respect their own choice to believe their political faith is the only true faith. If you don't appreciate how they choose to think, then this might be a more severe and final conversation about your relationship.
Prepare for confrontation
For most people, the core issue with coming out as a political atheist is that expressing your beliefs will inherently contradict someone else's. So, are you preparing for a point-by-point refutation of the family political faith right away? Or are you simply expressing your desire to abstain from certain political practices personally? Confrontation might be inevitable, so be ready to pick your battles.
Be confident
Make it clear that your coming out is not an invitation for group soul-searching. You likely put a lot of thought into this decision, so let the people know you're open to discussion, not debate.
When people you care about act as if you've wounded them by not believing in their political party (faith) and telling them about it, it can be painful to deal with them. If people get upset when you tell them you're a political atheist, you can express compassion for their being bitter without accepting responsibility for it. You can be sad that they feel bad, but you don't have to say, "I'm sorry I did this to you."
Be the bigger person.
The reality is that the more open you are about your political atheism, the more you'll open yourself up to anti-political atheism hostility. As I have said, you'll have to pick your battles unless you want every conversation to turn into a fruitless debate.
Where, when, and how you draw lines around your political atheism may change over time. Be ready to be the bigger person, and let some anti-political atheist comments roll off your back.
Finally, if you're coming out as a political atheist and anticipate a lousy reaction, establish a supportive community first—friends, selected family members, online, and so on. If your coming out doesn't go as planned, take stock of the fact that you made an important decision to be true to yourself. That counts for a lot.
